Pill Resistant

Dedicated to Nan, seventeen years too long

 You guys, here lately I’ve had this mad desire to “cleanse” my entire existence. I want to smudge everything, throw out things I’ve been holding onto for years, and, just change up everything!  Let me tell you! November 30th is going to be one year that I haven’t eaten a Xanax pill. I don’t know if you are aware of my story, but, I have struggled with addiction since I was 16. Always the same pill. Always the same outcome. Last year, the week leading up to my sobriety day was a lonely one. I was always bitching about feeling overwhelmed, and I was, but, I was only searching for the negativity. When that’s your mindset, that’s all you’ll see! When you expect life to be shit, it will be shit. MY IMPACT on my life was shit. Yes. Xanax is a prescription drug. Yes, a doctor writes it for you. And, yes, some people actually need it for the reasons it is prescribed. Most often than not, your anxiety levels are not high enough (excluding a major devastation) for a fucking dose of Xanax… just saying…

*sips coffee

So, I am on a mission of change! A visioned place of peace to reflect on the day, decompress from the loud noises and, God bless their little hearts, hide away from my beautiful babies. (I also created their space for them to hide away from me!! haha!)  If you’re a homebody and, would rather shop from home without having to run into everyone you knew from high school, then Amazon is perfect for you.

I wanted to flow with the change of seasons, as well as the changes in our home so I chose a neutral charcoal gray and, worked my way outwards with bright colors like yellow and burnt orange. I think when you have bright mixed over dark, it really makes it pop. In the girls rooms, I wanted to tie their beds together while still giving them their own individuality. What better way to decorate a little girls room than flowers?! That’s what my sister and I had growing up. Britt had roses and me, sunflowers… so needless to say, I have a fabulous nostalgia when I look at the girls, in their room.


As I lay here in my bed, watching P fall asleep next to me, I think about this space,our bedroom. Where Josh and I go intertwine to recharge our minds, bodies, and souls. Where our children run when they’ve had a bad dream.  Where we pile up to just feel cozy and safe, together. This space had to be special. Soft. Warm. That’s the inspiration for the changes that have been made. Just like when I was a child, I change things about myself and around me CONSTANTLY.

The sheets I chose actually have a back story. I feel like I beat the system with these guys! There is this older gentleman that comes to our area once a year with these same sheet sets and he sells them for an outrageous amount of money. Like, no.

So, when I accidently came across the same sheets for Ry’s bed, I was immediately ordering a set for our bed. I told everyone of my discovery and I see that I’m doing it again here!


Trust me… Affordable and amazing!

The Flower Garden 
Even Leo approves 

 The sudden dip in temperature required a heavier blanket. Since we use a down comforter covered with a duvet, I chose one in velvet; velu velvet!! There is nothing better than a hot ass shower and then to climb into the comfort of your spot. We all have “our side” of the bed!

 I’m going to link my entire space for you to shop! Enjoy!!




6 thoughts on “Pill Resistant

  1. Loved this blog and your strength, courage, and the fact your not afraid to be you. I am sure there are some who disapprove of your personal journey and your openness about it, but not this girl. You are you unapologetically you and that’s what I loveeeeeee about you and your blogs. Blog on Warrior !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am so happy that you read along! For the ones that don’t understand, there are five that do… At least, that’s what I think before I put my ass on blast like so! 😂🙌🏻


  2. Amanda this is so good. I’m very proud of you. I love your free spirit so much. Your a warrior and there is nothing in this world you won’t conquer. Miss you bunches


    1. Hannah Bananas! I miss you so much!! Since I’m a weirdo about public speaking, I thought I’d share my story this way! 😄 I would love to see you guys!! Let me know what you think girlfriend ❤️


  3. Good to see your sober. A lot of people from that area in our age group struggled with those ugly little things. (Myself included) All you need to do now is Love your family and keep going with that lesson learned. Nice job.


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