Nothing harder to do than to think of what to write! You try to find a topic that has a start to end sort of rush. You feel mentally prepared to just write out the entire story. But then there are times like now when I can’t think of shitttt…
I’ve been noticing some of you guys follow and then unfollow. I wonder to myself what made you guys go away. Although now I see it may be times like these. 🤦🏻♀️
What would I like my blog to bring to you? I’m a mother of four beautifully imperious children, spouse to a manly man, sister to two top brass ladies, and the daughter of a willow tree. I had another idea of how my life would end up going and none of it happened. Haha! Not even close.
I’d like to share these experiences with you! I have two more kids than I thought possible, even with the daily grind I beat my addiction, and somehow Joshua calmed me down enough to domesticate and provide. I consider every single event in my life a blessing from our Lord and I’m grateful for the possessions I own and the people that love me.
In my addiction, I put my family through some fucking terrible stupid shit and I am constantly reminding them how sorry I am. They don’t hold it over my head or even ask for a fucking apology but I do it because of my own guilty conscience. After my final sobriety, Brittani and I went and watched old Marco Polo videos of me in my haze. It was truly fucking sick. Although I have the same heart and soul under the influence I don’t know who that person is. It is more like autopilot where I do all the same shit but, glazed over and checked out. Thank you, Jesus, that it’s before the babies were old enough to understand but my fourteen years old not so much. I really had to fight to be in her world and I understand why.
That’s my past and what I used to put out into the universe and that isn’t what I’m about any longer. I’m working on that good juju now baby. And narrating myself along the way just for you! Life gets so hectic and overwhelming but, the small moments are what make it so worth the fight. ☕️